Broken Toe, Bright Beginnings
Nicole Hamner, 137 TESS
When coming to Thailand, trainees bring several things.
We bring heavy luggage meant to last two years in the new unknown. Except for Connor, a volunteer who quickly became famous for bringing only two backpacks. I’m still not sure if I am impressed or terrified.
Trainees also carry with them a lot of mixed feelings. I arrived with a whirlwind of questions swirling around my mind. What did I sign up for? Why are there so many of us? Why did I come here? Why did they come here? Will I make friends? Will I learn Thai?
There was one question that kept surfacing, no matter how many times I tried to tuck it away deeper beneath my excitement. Am I cut out for this?
This brings me to the last item that came with me as I entered Pre-Service Training (PST): my flaws and failures, the ones that tag along like an ugly shadow. I like to think of them as a beautiful part of life, meant to be accepted and loved along with my good qualities. If I’ve accepted them, then surely I can joke about them, right? At least, the ones I find humorous? Now, I’m not so sure – apparently I made one too many jokes about being directionally-challenged and it came back to haunt me.
During my second week of PST, just as I had started to adjust to our crazy routine, I manifested… a situation. First, I want to talk about what I mean by “crazy routine”.
Training meant waking up before sunrise for hours of Thai language classes, then being released to the local market to order ourselves food and a much-needed sweet treat. Afterwards, we returned to the classroom for lessons on teaching methodologies, safety, and cultural awareness. Evenings were spent integrating and building relationships with our host families. While every day of this felt exhausting at times, it was also a welcome distraction from the newness of everything and everyone. My brain may have been overwhelmed, but it was overwhelmed with new Thai words, new bits of information about my new friends, and new foods from my new host mom. This overload of information scratched just the right itch for my brain, and honestly, has been my favorite way to begin life in a new country.
So, after a long day of training in week two, I was biking home with my neighbor, another volunteer. We were chatting and joking around, until it happened…
CHON!
My neighbor had turned left, following the correct route. But I was too busy soaking up the beauty of my surroundings to pay any attention to silly little directions. As I was gazing ahead at the sun setting over the rice paddy fields— one of my favorite views of Thailand— my bike ran right into his. I immediately and ungracefully crashed. He hardly moved, which, in full transparency, was wildly annoying at that moment.
The crash, (chon in Thai), broke my little pinky toe. I mean, how embarrassing is that?! Two weeks into training, and here I was sitting on the side of the road mere minutes from my house, unable to finish my bike ride home.
In the following weeks, neither my fellow trainees nor the boot on my foot would let me forget the silly incident. The best part of this was that not a single person back in the U.S. was surprised by my story.
Despite the broken toe, I felt validated every day for coming here to try something completely different. My stomach adjusted quicker to Thai food than it ever had to other cuisines, I was incredibly well supported by Peace Corps staff, and I had so much fun in the classroom. My hobbling thankfully became a background detail of PST.
I tell this story because it reflects a life philosophy I believe will be evident throughout our service over the next two years. We all carry a shadow full of our flaws and imperfections. Those flaws will sometimes make life less convenient, harder, and seemingly unfair. I imagine that I will be facing many of my own shadows during this adventure. But that’s also exactly what makes life beautiful, funny, messy, and worth living. The healing process was slow and annoying, but it was a gentle and funny reminder that wherever I go, all of me will follow.
