Chase Your Dreams
Don't Let Anyone Convince You to Abandon a Dream
Hannah Fairweather, 137 TESS
As women, we're often taught not to let men dictate our decisions. I grew up in a culture that encouraged me to build a life rooted in my own ambitions and values rather than allowing a relationship to determine my future. My parents reinforced that message by encouraging me to be independent and to pursue a life defined by my own goals. Despite those lessons and my own ambition, I still found myself making decisions around the men I loved. Ironically, it was that questionable dating history that then led me to Thailand.
A few years ago, I broke up with one of the sweetest, smartest guys I've ever dated. After graduating with my Bachelor’s degree, I had accepted an invitation to serve in the Peace Corps in Moldova. I knew long distance wouldn't work and, if I'm being honest, I'd also already fallen out of love. He was supportive and I have nothing negative to say about him. That summer, though, I was having the time of my life in Washington, D.C. All of my high school friends had moved back home after graduating so we spent our weekends (and weeknights) at Mad Hatter's dollar beer nights, Shenanigans' $10 all-you-can-drink specials, Nationals games, and all the other fun chaos that comes with your post-college years.
Unfortunately, I met another guy. We started dating and I fell HARD. I was completely swept up in it. The love bombing, the "I'm going to marry this man" feelings (you know the drill). Eventually I told him about my plan to join the Peace Corps in Moldova. His response? He proceeded to tell me that people who join the Peace Corps are ‘weird’ and later, when he told his family, they laughed and his Grandma asked him if I was a lesbian — if I am the type of girl who doesn’t shave her legs. Looking back, that should’ve been it. I should’ve broken up with him then and there. Instead, I fell back into this small, insecure girl version of myself and let him - and his family’s opinions - make me feel embarrassed about something I had dreamed of since high school.
I stopped working on my forms, paperwork, and medical clearances. Eventually, I received the email saying my Peace Corps offer had been rescinded. I will not give him too much credit though as other factors contributed to my decision to push Moldova aside. A few months later, we broke up (for plenty of other reasons), and suddenly I had a master's degree, no job, no plan, and a lot of anger. I let one man's opinion make me question a dream I'd had since high school. To this day, I am extremely embarrassed and utterly ashamed. I told myself never again will I be that dumb. Never again will I settle for anything or anyone.
The first thing that popped back into my head and persisted was the Peace Corps. I realized I'd almost given up on something I'd wanted for years because other people didn't understand it. But how could they? It isn’t their dream. A year later I applied to Peace Corps Thailand. My reasoning was pretty simple: Thailand has a warm climate, and everyone I talked to had great things to say about their experience in the country.
Seven months into my Peace Corps journey I have realized it has turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made. I have met incredible people in my cohort, made three best friends, and have been welcomed whole-heartily in my host community. The biggest lesson I learned wasn't just "don't let a man influence your decisions." It’s:
Don't let anyone convince you to abandon a dream that matters to you.
People will project their fears, biases, and opinions onto your life. They don't have to live with the consequences. You do. Listen to advice, but listen to your gut even more. If I hadn't, I never would have ended up in Thailand.
